oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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