so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and she was petting her beer can
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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