i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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