All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
