Having a random hookup so left but love u
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
