couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize