OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
