Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
