He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
