I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
