Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can you bring me the toilet please
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
