The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
should my penis look like a turkey
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
