We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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