did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.