Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag