I want to have your abortion
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems