since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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