Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
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Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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