I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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