I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
