On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
