The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
