my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
3 2 1 whiskey
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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