i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
