I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
