If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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