Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
