I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
