i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
