coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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