she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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