quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
