drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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