Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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