I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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