it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
