That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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