'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
