if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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