I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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