i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
