some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
