You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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