oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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