So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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