I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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