mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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