i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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