I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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