Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
