triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
