she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
