I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
