is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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