Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize