does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
