Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
