I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
