I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
